Bring It On Home
by je-suis-a-toi
Summary: Sometimes Dean found himself surprised with how gentle and quiet he was with Cas-as opposed to his, occasionally obnoxious, loud personality with Sam. *A collection of one-shots, Destiel will be the main relationship but not all will be about them. Ratings are at the top of each one, and range from K-M*
1. Chapter 1

_A/N- __So I had a few short one-shots that were written for a friend and posted on tumblr; and I figured I might as well post them on here as well. If you want you can leave a comment or message me with a request, and I'll try to get it written for you as soon as I can. (I will emphasize that they are short, some only about 400-500 words.)_

_Set in Season 8, Destiel. Rating: T_

* * *

Dean smiled as he saw Cas curled up on the couch, feet curled up under his trench coat as if he was a child with their blanket. He sat down right by his angel and gently brought his right hand up, resting it on Castiel's head and gently moving his fingers around in circles. Cas hummed and shifted in his sleep, subconsciously moving closer to the edge of the couch where Dean was.

"Cas," sometimes Dean found himself surprised with how gentle and quiet he was with Cas-as opposed to his, occasionally obnoxious, loud personality with Sam. Cas hummed again and Dean moved his hand down to the angel's chin, repeating his name.

Slowly Cas opened his eyes and he blinked at the dimly lit figure sitting next to him.

"Dean, what's going on? Are you and Sam okay?" Dean let a small smile escape; Cas seemed to like scaring him to death on a daily basis lately, always putting himself in harm's way like earlier today. The angel was always worried about others and most of the time it became annoying, but some of the time it was sad because it made Dean realize how little Cas cared for himself. They were so alike in that sense that it made Dean's stomach cramp up in not so nice ways.

"We're fine, Cas. Why don't you take off your coat and you can come sleep in my bed."

"Where will you sleep?" Cas sat up now, confused.

"In my bed, we're both grown-ups. We can handle sleeping in the same bed." Dean sighed and stood up, offering his hand to Cas once he realized the angel was not standing on his own. "Come on, Cas, just take your coat off, and let's get some sleep. A bed is ten times more comfortable than that couch." Cas shrugged out of the trench coat and his suit jacket, before loosening his tie and throwing it on the pile and following Dean to the bed. They shucked off their shoes and slipped under the covers, each on their respective sides.

Something had changed Dean in purgatory and he no longer felt confused by his feelings for Cas, although he was still skeptical sometimes. Most of the time he just wanted to wrap Cas in his arms and never let him go because if he lost him again…well Dean wasn't sure he could go on. Not after everything, not after losing Benny, one of the two people who knew what Dean was like now. He wasn't stupid; he saw the way Sam looked at him sometimes now, as if he was scared of him-of what he might do. Maybe he had a right to be but that thought didn't make him feel any less shitty whenever he noticed the look. He and Sam…they just needed to get to know each other again and Dean wasn't quite sure if they would ever get back what they had. That realization made him want to hold Cas for a completely new reason.

He took a deep breath and rolled over to face Cas, who was already facing him and staring expectantly.

"Dean, it's okay." Dean felt the lump form in his throat and blinked rapidly as he felt the tears forming. He gasped repeatedly, trying to force away the feelings and felt Cas place his hand on his cheek. Before Dean knew what he was doing he lent down and captured Cas's lips with his own, one of his tears betraying him and slipping down his face as his hands came up to the angel's face. As soon as he felt Cas kiss him back, he deepened the kiss and gasped for a completely new reason before finally having to pull away from lack of air. Their foreheads met as they both caught their breath.

"You can't leave me again, do you understand me? You have to start watching out for yourself; you want to be concerned for others? Fine, that's part of the job, but you do not dismiss yourself. Do you understand me?" Cas nodded feverishly before bringing their lips back together as Dean moved so he was hovering over Cas.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N- All I will say is this is a Destiel fic, and it was a 'grumpy Cas' prompt. Rating: T_

_(This is probably the shortest one I've written.)_

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Dean shook his head of excess water as he stepped out of the bathroom and into their bedroom, towel wrapped loosely around his waist. Cas was still asleep in one of Dean's Zeppelin t-shirts and a pair of boxers; Dean slipped the towel from his waist and threw it on his head.

"Time to get up, we have a case." He called as he pulled on a pair of his own boxers and walked over to the sleeping angel. He sat on the edge of the bed and moved the towel off Cas's face.

"Come on sleepy," he grinned as Cas started groaning and twisting, trying to get away from Dean's intruding voice. He brought his forefinger up to the bridge of Cas's nose and began stroking it before his hand was angrily swatted away and a huffing Cas turned over onto his stomach. "Well, I'm perfectly fine with you leaving your ass in the air."

"Dean, seriously, no." Cas groaned as Dean moved closer to him and laid on top of his back, slowly grinding into him. "Get off me and let me go back to sleep you human nuisance." Dean let out a soft laugh and kissed Cas's neck before softly nipping at it and climbing off his angel. He came back five minutes later with a steaming cup of black coffee and sat back down on the bed, holding it near Cas's face. Slowly the angel opened his eyes and glared at the cup before accepting it and sitting up, taking a mouthful of the steaming coffee before finally looking at Dean. "Your hair is wet," he said groggily making the hunter laugh.

"Yeah that's generally what happens when someone takes a shower." Dean quickly noticed the grimace on Cas's face as he drank more coffee. "Of course I took a shower without you; you never get up before 11am. What else am I supposed to do with my time?" Cas rolled his eyes and set his empty mug down before eyeing Dean again.

"Okay, I'm sufficiently awake. What's going on this time, vampires, werewolves?" Dean just grinned and tackled the angel, pressing their bodies as close together as humanly possible while his tongue was tangled in Cas's mouth.

"I'm sure Sammy can handle the case on his own."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Season 8, set right after _Torn and Frayed. _Rating: K

* * *

Dean blinked sleepily as he rolled over in the motel bed, starting when he saw a figure sitting on the edge until his eyes adjusted and he realized who it was.

"Cas, how many times do I have to tell-" Dean stopped, realizing tears were streaming down Cas's face; regular ones this time, not the bloody ones he had witnessed earlier that night after Samandriel's death. "Hey, come here. Talk to me." He held out his arms and Cas hesitantly moved to the middle of the bed and climbed into Dean's embrace.

"I…" Cas had never cried before and he was quite sure he did not like the feeling. His tried to fight off the convulsing his body wanted to do until he couldn't any longer and sobs racked his body.

"Shhh, Cas, what's wrong?" Dean's right hand found its way into Cas's hair and he stroked small circles, wishing more than anything that he could do something to stop the tears.

"I don't know," After a few minutes Cas was finally able to control himself enough to admit it. He found that as long as he focused on the arms wrapped around him and the chest that his head was tucked into he continued to calm down.

"What do you mean? I've never seen anything upset you this much, Cas." Dean wrapped his arms tighter around his angel and moved his left hand in circles over Cas's back. Cas broke his concentration for a minute as he got a flash of Naomi's face again, and he burrowed himself further into Dean as the sobbing picked back up.

"A face…I keep seeing this face."

"A face, whose?" Dean's brow furrowed and he barely registered kissing the top of Cas's head, still trying to reassure him.

"I don't know, but she just…she terrifies me, and I don't know why."

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, Cas, you know that." Dean felt Cas's head move in a nodding motion against his chest and kissed the top of his head again before resting his chin there. "Anyone who tries to won't live to see another second, I swear." Eventually the tears subsided and they both fell asleep; an angel wrapped in a hunter's arms, and they stayed that way through the night.

When Sam woke that morning, he did nothing to disturb the two as he grabbed a towel and headed into the bathroom. He smiled when he noticed the two still in the same position as he came back out; deciding to let them sleep for a while longer, he grabbed his jacket and the keys to the impala, heading out for a few hours.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N- Adam in hell. Rating: K+_

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If there was one thing that Adam truly missed, it was sleeping. In the beginning, he would pray and yearn for those few hours when Lucifer would fall asleep, so that he could have some time away from the incessant pain and torturing. Lucifer tore, pulled, ripped, bit, scratched, and shredded every last inch of him; all he wanted was a few small hours, only a few. However, it turns out that bitter, caged up angels do not sleep at all, and as a result, neither did Adam. He lost count after the first couple hundred years of being stuck in the cage, but if he had to guess, he'd say he was up to a few thousand by now. Michael was still in him, and that lessened the pain a little but there were times when Adam was pushed forward into consciousness, as if the angel didn't really want to be there and was using him as a shield.

"They're never coming for you," Lucifer would taunt as he slashed at Adam's abdomen, realizing that the boy was back as he gasped, trying to shield his body from the oncoming assault. "Sam and Dean don't care, they've already forgotten their unwanted," another slice in his skin, "stupid," a kick to his back that had him up and trying to crawl away, "little brother." Adam let out a whimper, which only got him another slash. "Why would they want to help the boy who took their daddy away from them?"

Adam had given up on hoping Sam and Dean would come save him after he hit his first eighty years. He gave in to Lucifer's taunting, believed that they had never really wanted to help him, that maybe this had been their plan all along. Nevertheless, every time Lucifer decided to take a break, for whatever reason, he found himself still hopeful that he was wrong, that his brother's could somehow get him out of this. He lay crumpled on the floor, knees curled up into his chest and tears that hadn't stopped running since he got in the cage poured silently down his face.

"You know, Michael, you really shouldn't be using the boy as a shield; it only makes me want to get to you even more," Lucifer sighed, walking over. Adam squeezed his eyes shut, already expecting the pain that would come from the slash of whatever device Lucifer seemed to conjure up and silently prayed one more time for his brothers to come and save him. "And you know how I am when I want something."

"Please!" The sob was ripped out of him as a cut was reopened on his back and his eyes were squeezed as tight as possible, mouth agape with the pain.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N- Season 8; Destiel _**Rating: K**

* * *

Dean tossed his jacket onto the motel bed before grabbing a beer and bringing the bottle up to his lips. His brow furrowed and the bottle was frozen against his lips as he listened to the room around him, trying to make sure he wasn't going insane. Then he sneezed; once, twice, three times, and heard it again.

"Son of a bitch, how the hell did you get in here? SAMMY!" Dean groaned and set the bottle down before going over to his bed and staring at the offending animal.

"What, Dean, do you have to ye-" Sam froze in the doorway, still carrying his bag. "What the hell is that doing here?" The cat meowed at Dean again.

"You mean you didn't bring it in here?"

"No! Dean, I know you're allergic to cats, why would I bring one in here?" Dean stared at the fluffy gray cat before turning around and dragging Sam out of the motel room. "What are we supposed to do? Can you bring it to like a shelter or something?"

"Dean, they kill animals at most shelters," Sam frowned at him, praying that they could come up with another idea before they had to leave town.

"Fine, it can stay for a little; but if it pees on my bed I'm bringing it to the shelter myself." Sam hid his smile as he followed his brother back inside, and ended up running straight into him.

"What the hell? Could you move, please?"

"Where did it go?"

"What?" Both of their heads snapped to the bathroom as the sink started running. "What?" Sam repeated and immediately dropped his bag, both he and Dean pulling out their guns.

"Cas, what the hell, dude? Where have you been?" Dean put his gun back and walked over to his bed. "Where's that damn cat, did you take care of it?"

"Uh…Dean," Sam had on bitchface no. 5 as he gestured at Castiel. Dean sighed and really looked at Castiel, freezing when he saw the light blue collar attached to his neck.

"Cas, what the hell is going on?"

"I'm a cat." The angel finally spoke, eyes staring down at the carpet. "Well, I'm half a cat."

"You were the kitten I saw on my bed?" Dean sat down on said bed, holding his head in his hands and groaning.

"It seems I've somehow become familiar; more specifically your familiar." Cas coughed, still standing in the doorway of the bathroom and glanced around the room awkwardly.

"I'm not a witch."

"No, it would appear someone thought this would be an amusing joke."

"I'm allergic to cats."

"Yes, Dean, we're all aware how allergic to pussies you are." Sam said, ignoring the glare his brother sent him as he opened his own beer. Dean sneezed again before flopping back on the mattress, rubbing at his eyes.

"I can leave if it's really that bad."

"No!" Dean's cheeks turned a nice shade of pink as both Sam and Cas turned to stare at him. "I mean, you shouldn't leave in this condition…and I don't want you to." If Dean noticed Sam trying to hide a smile, he didn't say anything and chose to stare at the ground.

"That's normal, our bond was more profound before this happened and it has simply become increasingly more profound." This time Sam snorted and Dean threw a pillow at him.

"Shut up, bitch."

"I'm gonna go get some food, you two can talk." Sam set his beer down and walked towards the door calling, "Jerk," as he shut the door behind him.

"Cas I thought I asked you not to do that stuff in front of Sam." Dean growled as he got back up to down half of his beer; turning back around to find a fluffy gray kitten once again sitting on his bed. "Could you please be human-angel-whatever the hell you are, just be able speak English right now!"

Cas meowed at him, trying to explain that he couldn't control it yet, and Dean sighed before going over to pet him, cuddling him into his side-and promptly sneezing again.

"I'm going to need a lot of Allegra, aren't I?" Cas meowed at him again, before purring and flipping around so he was lying on his back, head tilted towards Dean's face and Dean would have sworn that he was smiling.

When Cas woke up later on that night he was human again but still cuddled into Dean, who was now shirtless and looked like he had a very bad cold. Cas grimaced and brought his hand to Dean's forehead, stroking down the side of his face. Groggily, Dean opened his eyes and smiled.

"Hey," Dean sniffed and rubbed at his eyes again.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this," Cas frowned as Dean shook his head.

"Dude, don't worry. You're worth it." Cas smiled at him before leaning in and kissing him softly. "If I didn't feel so gross right now, and Sam wasn't one bed over I would love to see how easy it is to make you purr when you're like this." Cas felt his cheeks and neck get hot as Dean murmured the words into his ear, but it was dark enough that he did not think Dean could tell. He kissed him again, slow, savoring the taste of him before tucking his head under Dean's chin and curling his body to fit perfectly in the space between them.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N- Cas watches Mean Girls._ **Rating: K+**

* * *

"You are such a bitch!" Dean called as Sam shoved him out of the doorway and ran to the shower first. "I'm covered in more blood than you are!"

"I know it may look like Sam was being a bitch, but that's only because Sam was acting like a bitch." Dean froze and turned to see Cas sitting on his bed, staring at the television which currently had credits running across it.

"What?"

"Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?"

"_What?_"

"Regina couldn't go to Taco Bell because she was on an all carb-diet."

"_Who in the hell is Regina?_ Cas, are you drunk again?"

"Of course not, you told me to wait here. And I don't think I'll ever go drink a liquor store again, that was not so pleasant." Cas frowned at him before gesturing towards the television. "I watched movies while you two took care of the vampire."

"…were you watching porn again? Is this like the pizza man thing?"

"No, I thought you told me not to watch porn anymore?" Dean felt his face flush as he tugged his blood soaked shirt off.

"I didn't say you could never watch it! I just said don't watch it in the same room as Sam and me. I'd prefer if you kept that stuff between us or yourself, and I know he feels the same way." Dean sighed and went to sit down next to Cas, falling back so his head hit the mattress. "So what did you watch then?"

"Oh my god, Dean, you can't just ask people what they watched." Dean's eyes shot open and he groaned.

"You didn't?" He grabbed the remote and groaned even louder after hitting info. "You watched Mean Girls?! Seriously, Cas!"

"Boo, you whore!"

"Oh for Christ's sake." Dean got back up and grabbed a beer, popping the top off and drank half the bottle in one sip.

"Dean?"

"What?"

"Is your muffin buttered?" Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, silently pleaded for Sam to get out of the damn bathroom. "Would you like someone assigned to butter your muffin?"

"SAMMY GET OUT OF THE DAMN SHOWER AND TAKE HIM SOMEWHERE!"

* * *

Dean jolted upwards as he heard the impala's engine, and bolted out of his bed before Sam could even ask what was going on. He didn't even register the fact that he only had on a pair of boxers and t-shirt until he felt the chilly February air hit him as he stopped in front of his baby.

"Get in loser, we're going shopping." Dean huffed and borrowed a Sam bitchface as he walked over to the driver's side.

"Get out of my car, and stop quoting that damn movie! I never should have left you alone with the television; why couldn't you just order more porn?" Cas sighed and got out of the car.

"I'm sorry people are so jealous of-"

"Cas, I swear to God, if you quote the damn movie one more time- I will never have sex with you again."

And apparently, that was all that needed to be said.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N- Destiel; fallen Cas. A little different to what I've been posting so far, hopefully it's a good different._ **Rating: M**

* * *

The thing with Dean Winchester is that people only tend to remember little bits of him, but he is so much more than they realize.

Dean Winchester is a son, a brother, a soldier, a protector, a defender, a commander. He is humor, and busty Asian beauties; he is a bowlegged, six-foot-one, insecure-sometimes drunk-damn good hunter. He is a flawed human being who is afraid of abandonment, of losing the very few good things he has left in his life. He has been to hell and back, he has survived and escaped purgatory. He has loved, harder than anyone thought possible and still given up a family so they wouldn't be dragged into his nightmare of a life. He has lost his brother twice, failed his father more than that, and has died more times than even he can count. He still looks like an exhausted 34-year-old even though he is technically past the retirement age, but hell seems to freeze you in the same state while being tortured. He is Dean Winchester, a person who lost his childhood in favor of giving Sam one. He is kind-hearted and good; and he refuses to believe that maybe he can have the life he desperately wants Sam to have.

He is the person that made an angel turn against his kind for. He is part of the reason why Cas started doubting all those years ago. He is the reason that Cas fell from Heaven, the reason he gave up his grace. He is the person that Castiel has fallen in love with. He is the one person Cas truly understands.

Castiel is a son, a brother, a soldier, a protector, a defender, a commander. He is strong, he is doubtful, he is obedient, and he is blunt. He is adorable hair, with a voice so deep it goes straight through you. He is oblivious to a lot, and he sometimes learns from the pizza-man. He is as big as the Chrysler building, and sometimes he loses his modesty. He is willing to give everything for the ones he loves. He is the angel who learned how to feel; he is the angel who kept his faith in his father, even when his brothers and sisters did not. He has died and been brought back too many times for anyone's liking. He is willing to work with demons to achieve what he thinks is the right thing. He is older than even he can remember; and when he was told to love the flawed, stupid, murderous humans more than he loved himself-he listened.

He is the person that Dean has fought so hard for. He is the reason that Dean was raised from perdition, the reason that Dean continued fighting after Sammy betrayed them with Ruby. He is the reason that Dean has finally given in to his feelings and allowed himself to love the person he was meant to.

They have given so much that they don't bother fighting anymore. They take the moments they get and make the most of them. Dean relishes in the feeling of blunt fingernails scraping down his back, and Cas moans when Dean bites his bottom lip, tugging his head back slightly. They gasp as their bodies slip and drag, push and pull. Dean growls as Cas finally sinks down, enveloping him in heat, before tugging their lips back together and gripping the hipbones that drive him insane every time he gets a glimpse of them. Both of them ignore the sweat pouring down their skin as they move together, desperately clinging to each other; wanting, needing, taking. Dean is so far in love that when they are past exhausted and so blissed out they don't even bother cleaning up; he wraps his arms around Cas and tugs him close, humming quietly when Cas places a kiss on his chest.

They are one.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N- This is how Cas falls. Minor destiel. _ **Rating: T**

* * *

The pain was beyond words, and Cas had been screaming for so long that he wasn't even sure that noise was even coming out anymore. He could feel the bones breaking as his wings were torn from his body, could feel the ligaments ripping as they were pulled away from his body, the last thing to disconnect was the nerve cords running through the wings and that was when Cas finally passed out. When he finally woke up everything was blurry, the bed was too hard and the colors were too dull; his throat was thick and raw and his head was throbbing.

"Hey, Cas, it's okay; I got you buddy." He barely had the energy to let out a sob as Dean picked his body up so his sweat soaked body was leaning against him. "Shhh, Cas." The sounds coming out of the fallen angel were torturing Dean into almost crying himself. "I promise I'm gonna take care of you, I promise you're going to be okay."

The words were overpowering to Cas' ears, which were suddenly so empty of the sound of his brothers and sisters that it made him cry even harder. Gripping the bed sheets beneath him was the only movement he could manage as he let out scream after scream; the white hot throbbing from his shoulder blades, and the realization that maybe he wasn't ready to leave his family yet causing him so much agony that he fading out of consciousness once again.

Dean didn't know what to do anymore, Cas had come and gone for the past day and a half and nothing seemed to be helping. The bandages on his back had to be changed four times already because the blood had kept seeping through until finally it seemed to slow down enough. His voice was so hoarse from the screaming that when he babbled incoherently while floating in and out of consciousness Dean could barely decipher what was said. The thing that made Dean really break down though, really made him lock himself in the bathroom for ten minutes so he didn't have to hear it, was that Cas never stopped crying. The tears never stopped streaming down his face; the sobs never stopped racking his body, and the whimpers never stopped coming.

"Cas, buddy, please. I need you to wake up. I need you to be alright." Dean had been hovering over Cas for three days, pleading to deaf ears and worrying over his limp body. On the fifth day, Cas finally opened his eyes for good when Dean was in the shower, and he was even able to push himself to sit against the headboard.

"Dean," he croaked out the words and wasn't even sure Dean would hear him at all but ten seconds later the hunter ran over to the bed, towel wrapped loosely around his waist and water dripping from his head.

"Do you want some water? I can make you something to eat? How are you feeling?" Dean had to look of a frantic mother as he fussed over Cas, checking to make sure he was okay.

"Water would be good, thank you." Five seconds later Cas had a water bottle placed against his lips and Dean was slowly tipping it back so he could drink from it.

"Chuck dropped off some pain killers, he said they should work." A few pills were placed in his mouth and he swallowed them down, nodding slightly. "I'll make you something to eat, just rest."

And that's how it went, Dean watched over him while Cas took his pills and curled into a ball in bed. He managed to get Cas to eat every couple days, and even managed to make him get out of bed and go for a walk once. Sam would stop in from time to time, and try to get him up and do something fun. But it never worked, he would only respond to Dean; every night Dean would hold Cas in his arms while he cried. He was slowly being dragged down, tossed around in the waves of depression and the silent torture of his new mind. He missed the voices of his siblings, missed the feeling of being Castiel who was the size of the Chrysler building and had the ability to pull loved ones out of hell. He felt so weak and powerless, so…_human_. He wanted his father back, wanted to have faith that things were going to be okay, but that seemed to slip out when his grace was ripped from him.

"Cas, I need you to get out of bed tomorrow, _please_." Dean whispered the words into Cas' hair as he rubbed his back.

"What's the point?"

"I need you, Cas. You have no idea how much I need you to be okay. I promised you that you would pull through this; I promised everything would be okay. But I need you to make an effort here, man. I…I love you, and I can't stand to see you wasting away." Cas lay there for a few more minutes, silent, as he tried to force the dark waves away from his mind. He was afraid that, maybe, if he didn't try then Dean would eventually give up, wouldn't hold him close and comfort him. If Dean ever went away then Cas didn't think he could survive this.

"Okay."


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N- Major character death, minor destiel, fallen Cas._ **Rating: T**

* * *

The call had come late in the morning and Castiel didn't know what to do. It was never supposed to happen this way; it was supposed to be another hunter, because God knows the others had plenty of reasons to hate the Winchester's by now. It was supposed to be a demon, an angel, a werewolf, _a fucking __ghost_; it was never supposed to be some stupid asshole who didn't know how to drive his damn car. The hospital said it had been immediate, that he was pronounced dead at the scene and that he didn't suffer. Even though that should have been some sort of comfort, it wasn't even close to comforting.

Cas had gone along to identify the body, not expecting the flood of emotions that crashed down on him now that he was human. They hadn't a death this close to them since Cas had fallen, and he wished for nothing more than to be an angel again so he couldn't feel this. He hadn't expected Dean to close him out; he had expected Dean to need him more right now. But he didn't even consider knocking on the bathroom door to let him know he was going out as he slipped on his jacket and began his walk to the park; about to do something he hadn't done in years.

Dean felt numb, because no way in hell could Sammy be dead. He was supposed to live out his life; he was supposed to find a wife and have kids and grandkids; he was supposed to _live_, damn it. Dean was the one who was supposed to die unexpectedly, and much too soon. He could barely stand seeing Sam's caved in body in the morgue three days ago, and the other driver was lucky he had been in surgery when Dean was there or else there would be another body in the morgue next to Sam. Dean had been sitting in the shower for over an hour now, letting the scalding water run over his head; wishing for nothing than to switch places with his baby brother because he didn't know how he was supposed to survive without him. He felt like his stomach and heart had been ripped out of his body, leaving him as empty as he could possibly be. Out of all of the times he had lost Sam in the past, it never stopped hurting; and it nearly killed him when he realized there was no way his little brother could be brought back this time. When the water was so cold that Dean started shivering he finally found the strength to get up and dry himself off before falling into bed, staring at the dark wall until he finally drifted off to sleep.

"_Dean_," he didn't want to open his eyes but he had been listening to Cas whispering his name for a few minutes, so he finally cracked his eyes open, staring blankly into Cas'. He felt Cas grab his right hand and drop something into it before folding his fingers over the object. He leaned over and pressed his lips to Dean's forehead quickly. "I love you, I'm going to grab some breakfast and then we should head down to the cemetery." Dean squeezed his eyes shut, and the only reason he didn't run into the bathroom to throw up is because he hadn't eaten for most of the week. He felt Cas pull away and then a door clicked shut. Slowly he pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, sheet loosely wrapped around his waist as he uncurled his fingers. He couldn't have stopped the onslaught of tears if he wanted to as sobs once again began to rack his body; he closed his fist around the amulet once more and rested it against his mouth, continuing to cry until he couldn't any longer.

When Cas came back the bathroom door was closed and he silently hoped that Dean hadn't locked himself in again. He set the food down on the table and sat down, rubbing his hands over his eyes.

"How?" Cas' head snapped up at the sound of Dean's voice, finding that he had come out of the bathroom and was sitting at the end of the bed in clean clothes. It took his brain a few minutes to register what he was being asked.

"I prayed, Dean." Cas replied softly, not able to look at Dean as he said mumbled the words; "I didn't know how else to help you, but apparently someone up there doesn't hate me; when I looked to my right it was sitting on the bench next to me. I just…I couldn't lose you, Dean." He hadn't even realized Dean was standing in front of him until he was tugged upward into a kiss, and shoved back against the wall.

"You…damn it, Cas. I love you, you know that? If you ever leave me, I don't…" Cas brought their lips back together and tangled his fingers in the hunter's hair.

"I'm not going anywhere, Dean." He took a deep breath, "And Sam didn't want to leave. He never wanted to leave you, Dean. This isn't your fault." Most of Dean's tears splashed onto Cas as well but he couldn't care less; they continued to kiss until finally they pulled apart and with one look decided to throw their bags in the back of the impala and head down to the cemetery. Sam's bones were burned, but Dean had decided to put Sam's ashes into a coffin and put him into the slot right next to their mother and father; where Dean's ashes would eventually also be buried. He didn't register when Cas left his side to go sit in the impala, or when he sat down right in front of the headstone; he wasn't even sure how long he had been crying. All he knew for certain is that he held the amulet, which was now around his neck, in between his thumb and forefinger the entire time because it made him feel like Sam was sitting right next to him. The sun was starting to dim when Dean finally got off the ground and walked towards the impala.

"Will you drive?" Cas looked at him softly and nodded, taking the keys and kissing him again. Dean slid across the seat and rested his head on Cas' shoulder. It would take a long time, and the scars on Dean's heart would never completely heal; but he would be okay as long as Cas was with him. They were all they had left in this world, and that was what mattered most.


End file.
